Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Reasons Why Squall is Better

The first hero I played and the one I liked the most. He's better than Cloud hands down.


"EMO!"
—Cloud
"Look who's talking"
—Squall

"I dreamed I was a moron..."
—Squall
"You're not dreaming!!"
—Everyone else
He saved Rinoa, twice.
He stopped an evil sorceress.
He has a cool ass weapon.
He has a scar that he didn't whine about getting. (Unlike a certain person who would cry)
He changed his personality. He was a emo, jerky, bastard in the beginning, to a caring loving guy protecting his woman from danger in the end.
He had a bad childhood and grew from it.
He always showed his true feelings and he was always himself, unlike that 'Ex-SOLDIER'.
He led the entire Final Fantasy cast against the heartless in the Kingdom Hearts series, twice.
First non-FFVII character to go toe-to-toe against Sephiroth.
Bad-ass military mercenary with brains as well as brawn.
A scarred badass with a hybrid between a gun and a blade? Eat it Cloud!
He is the Commander of Balamb Garden who give orders to other SeeD members. That's really something!
He's more complex than you think.
He's a Sorceress' Knight.
He wears tight clothes and manages not to be gay, unlike the half naked male to male stripper, or the blonde gigolo.
and, He does not have tail, nor spikey hair.
He is the son of The president of the biggest nation in FF VIII world. handsdown.
Most of this stuff he did while he was only 17.
He has the Lion Heart limit break (18 hits, eat that Omnislash!!)
He travels alone in Dissidia, not to mope alone but b'coz he TRUSTS his teammates.
Squall is the only non-FFIX hero to fight Kuja without getting distracted by his thong.
Squall can drive a car.
Squall actually managed to save Rinoa FOUR TIMES, while Cloud couldn't save Aeris once.
He walked across a whole bridge leading to another CONTINENT carrying Rinoa for the purpose of awakening her from her coma. How many other heroes do THAT for their loves?
Squall requested for the hot dogs to be protected during the Garden war. And without hot dogs, the world would be a terrible place. Right?
Squall actually earns money throughout the whole game. LEGALLY.
He can pull off saying, "Whatever".
His gunblade is way cooler than Seifer's. (especially the Lionheart model)
Sure, Squall may be emo, but that's better than a guy with ADD and a gigolo.
He's the only guy to ever beat the Warrior of Light one on one. Not even everyone's favorite drag queen with silver hair managed to pull that off.
He made a suicidal jump into space to save the chick he loved.
He was looking after the babes from FFVII in both Kingdom Hearts games while the other douche' was chasing after a drag queen.
He wears leather pants while maintaining his status as a straight man.
He has the grapefruits to mock Exdeath by asking him if he misses "home" before they fight. It doesn't get much more badass than that.
He's the only character in Dissidia who has the ability to fight with a stance that consists only of slinging his weapon over his shoulder.
His game's ending was the most epic in the entire series & he made out with his girl without having to die.
His girl is really hot & so was the other one that was ready to throw herself at him out in the jungle at night.
When faced with a three-headed dog from hell while in enemy territory, he decides he wants to tame the damn thing & keep it as a pet instead of killing it.
His cutscenes in Dissidia actually show that he really won his boss fights instead of making it look like a draw. He even posed like a Calvin Klein model in front of them while they pulled themselves up.
He is the Combo Master.
Has more reasons than anyone else so far.
He isn't a blonde.
He doesn't have prematurely grayed hair.
He can build up Brave Points faster than the other hero's.
He has more reasons than anyone else... again. Brave Points baby.
His one version of Lionheart still does more damage than every version of Omnislash.
Renzokuken is such a cool word.
SeeD is way better than SOLDIER, which Cloud wasn't even in!
Silent guys are always tough. FACT
He didn't even get his most powerful limit break in Dissidia and STILL kicked everyone else's ass.
He can pull off a sash.
His enemies in Dissidia call him the Heart of the Lion.
He was impaled through the chest by a gigantic shard of Ice, only to awake later and be tortured with electroshocks, and he still kept going like nothing had happened.
He is one of the few here that has actually TRAINED since a young age for Combat. He didn't get his skills by being artificially enhanced like a certain chicken wuss.
If he had a job class, he would be a kickass Knight (warrior, fighter, etc), unlike a certain copycat, who could be a mime thanks to his amazing Zack-copying powers.
He allowed Bartz to use his weapon against Exdeath. At least Squall SHARES his weapon, unlike Firion.
Look at those bad@$% threads. You know they just scream "Bad@$$ biker here, don't %$#$ with me".
He not only succeded in becoming a SeeD operative, but also was quickly promoted and became their leader Some cheap Zack ripoff needed to imagine himself succeeding, because he sucked so much, that he managed only to the lowest level of Shin-ra food chain.
His limit breaks are WAY cooler, and more effective, than Sephiroth's bitch.
He can play cards.
He is over 9000 times more manly, than drag queen,monkey-boy, crybaby and dumbfuck combined.
When Cloud equips all Summon Materia, his strenght and HP goes down, When Squall junctions all GF, He can Improve all of his stats. Now, who's better?
Cumulonimbus Can't even kill someone for good. When Squall finishes Time-Kompression chick she stays dead.
If Blondie can have a reason about his Female counterpart, Then so can Squall.
And Squall's said Counterpart was first!
Squall got his badass scar by fighting his rival, and scarred him back. Cloud stabbed Sephiroth through the back like the copying coward he is.
When Squall was confronted by the Warrior of Light, Squall promptly kicked his sorry butt. In turn, WoL kicked Sephiroth's butt. Heart of the Lion baby!!
His coolness is such that he can pull off being teamed with monkey-boy and that Mime guy.
He kicks everyone's ass in Dissidia and doesnt need to class-change to do so, unlike a certain someone who needs to change job classes to even get close to Squall's coolness.
Squall trained since a young age and became a badass merc working for an organization who realizes covert operations all over the world, and THEN became the Commander of said organization. That Chocobo-wuss could not even get into SOLDIER. Poser.
Is Rinoa dead? That's right, this is one HERO who is actually capable of saving his lady, unlike that Zack-Wannabe.
Rinoa, Zell, Laguna, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, hell, even Edea, they are all alive! Cloud let his love interest and his best friend die in front of him, then he ripped-off his best friend!
Renzokuken alone is enough to pawn everything any other hero here can conjure up.
Squall can turn his badass Gunblade into a more badass thousand-foot-long Lightsaber of Ultimate Doom, also called Blasting Zone.
Do YOU have a thousand foot-long Lightsaber of Ultimate Doom?? Didn't think so.
He is based off of River Phoenix, who died by drug overdose, which somehow makes Squall cool. Right?
While he uses a Gunblade, he kicked a trained soldier's ass with his bare fists and feet, while holding on to a hovercraft, hundreds of feet in the air where falling would result in certain death. And after kicking said soldier's butt, he rescued his girl, take that!
His freaking name means Lionhearted.
When faced with his Ultimate enemy, he goes straight-out and cuts the witch in half just as she is making her villain-speech. He does not sit around with her, discussing this pear, then failing to kill her. *Coffcloudcoff*.
Squall couldn't care less about you nor your problems. You just know that is cool.
Two words: Relentless Revolver.
He forgave Seifer after he: bullied him, cut his face, dated his girl before him, tortured him, joined the evil side, tried to destroy his home, tried to kill him and all of his friends, killed Odin, kidnapped his girl and gave her to Adel, etc. Takes a real man to do that.
He can pull off saying that his father was a moron.
He won't show his Gunblade to Zell, if you know what I mean. So he's not gay.
He commands a friggin' army of Mercenaries.
While Cloud was out searching for his silver-haired lover, Squall led the Final Fantasy cast Resistance AND took care of both Yuffie and Aerith in Kingdom Hearts, and guess what, he didn't let Aerith die!
He can pawn you at cards.
When he was given a mystical lamp containing a Devil-like deity of incredible power, Squall decided to kick the sorry devil's rear, then keep him as a pet.
By the time he was 17, Squall had succeded at life. That owns everyone in this list and all of us too u_u.
He offered to kick ExDeath's sorry butt, and you know he could have!
No one can pull off saying "Whatever" quite like him.
You know how you always fall for the hot teacher? Well, this dude got the hot teacher to fall for him.
Squall is not blonde. Therefore, he is smarter than all of the Amano designed characters, plus Zidane and Tidus.
He does not need an oversized sword to feel reassured of his manliness.
He makes a suicidal jump into the vacuum of space, saves his girl from death, then saves both himself and her by actually finding a starship, which he then pilots to safety, and manages to score with his lady, all in a few hours.
He wears the badass Griever necklace.
His Griever necklace is so cool, it made character designers create Fenrir for Cloud, in an attempt to make Cloud as cool as Squall, which of course, is impossible.
He is the ultimate Sorceress Knight in shining armor.
That's Commander Leonhart for you, scum.
From high-flying heroics, to ball-room dancing, to executing assassination attempts, this man has more versatility than a room full of Red Mages!
He defeated not one, not two, but THREE evil sorceresses.
He makes friends, ascends ranks and becomes a better person without even actually trying.
He's BEEN IN SPACE!
Squall don't need a big picture in this thread, to be cool.
When he took charge. He did more things for Balamb Garden more than the Headmaster!
When told by a mysterious voice to piss off, he not only ignores it, but then proceeds to kick the ass of two dragons, and answer a cryptic question with a baddass response, he then kicks the ass of the king of dragons, and makes him his bitch.
LionHeart over Ultima Weapon

No comments:

Post a Comment